I just turned 40 years old. And I could not be happier.
I never understood the taboo about a woman’s age.
Children age and we celebrate their birthdays with great fanfare. Men age and look damn good with gray hair and wrinkles. Many things are better the older they get. Vintage clothes and furniture are all the hype. Flannel sheets and pajamas get softer and comfier with every wash, and art appreciates with time. Antiques, cheese, wine, whiskey, and pickles, the list goes on.
And don’t get me started on abstract assets like friendship, relationships, wisdom, experience, self-confidence, and reputation.
But, women? No, they should not age, even though time doesn’t stop for anyone, God forbid they should look like humans who inhabit a planet with undefiable natural laws.
How old are you?
Just ask, never ask, it is offensive, it is empowering, is it your business? People want to know.
I spared everyone the hesitancy with my more subdued version of my desire to scream from the rooftops because I was telling everyone:
Hi, today is my birthday. I turned 40, I am so excited!
Followed by the next day, when someone would ask, Hi, how are you? I would answer, I’m good, I just turned 40! And a week later, when someone asked me what was up, I answered again, Everything is great, I just turned 40!
I think you got my point that I am super high on life and stoked about being 40. It is a badass age. It is not 38, meh, 39, meh, it is FORTY.
What is all this hype about? You ask.
There is something about closing a decade that makes you stop and think. I have been given this life. Many have not. Millions of people have died before my age before they knew the giddiness of a first kiss, the divine experience of giving birth, or the knee-trembling walk down the aisle or crossing a stage to receive a diploma.
For every wonderful experience I have had, there are hundreds more I haven’t experienced yet. And to think, that I have been given the time, the honor to walk this earth and explore, a mission to accomplish that is bigger than myself, is exhilarating.
On the flip side, I can easily write a list of things I haven’t accomplished yet, (will I ever? ) and beat myself with the thought, I am 40 and I don’t have this or that — and that would be a very legitimate thought that has crossed my mind in the past, albeit, thank goodness, fleetingly.
As if, had I ticked off all the boxes on my goal list, then a voice would call out from the heavens and say, Now, Chany, you have permission to age and be proud and happy. Or perhaps, there is no voice from heaven, but many spoken ( loudly) and unspoken messages, from our society, culture, and media, that rob us of the joys of living and aging.
This year, however, on this fine 40th birthday of mine, I was inundated with a feeling of gratitude and happiness.
Speaking of happiness, what is your definition of it? Please leave it in the comments below. I am forever fascinated by this topic.)
But if you asked what my definition is, it is being happy to be living. It is not about who you are, what you have, or what you achieved, and is not even the journey you are on.
It is about being. Right here, right now.
Happiness is about feeling blessed and privileged to be alive.
It is not lost on me that I am blessed with so much and it may be ‘easier’ to be happy than many out there. I do not take it for granted. I often tell my kids how lucky we are to have a warm cozy (it’s a tiny underground kind of a basement), when is cold and rainy outside. It may as well be a mansion, but it wouldn’t make a difference, is the feeling of awareness, awe, and gratitude that does it.
Happiness is not only about having what you want or even loving what you have, although that level of accomplishment and contentment is plain awesomeness. It is about being joyful and fulfilled despite not having everything you want.
True happiness comes from within. From a part of us that is so holy and divine that no money can buy it and nobody can rob us of it. It is hard to put in words, but on those rare blessed moments, you know when you feel it.
Age is not just a number. Age is years of life.
A life gifted to you so you can love, be, and do whatever you want. Where anything is possible and you can always expect the unexpected.
A life, where, whether you are 4, 14, or 40, is a joy to be alive.
I love this. And gratitude looks really good on you. For me 50 was the big number and it was a terribly difficult time in my life. Thankfully I’m in a much better place now and I can really appreciate your outlook. My wish for you is continued happiness and gratitude and then even more reasons to be joyful as you in turn spread that joy to those lucky ones who are in your inner circle.
I am glad to hear those difficult times are behind you. Thank you for your good wishes, and wishing you all the blessings to you.
What a feel good written piece. Thank you 🙂
Thank you so much!
Thank you 🙂